repair

I stood here alone.
waiting for you.
and when I saw you,
I knew to be still.

as you descended,
my eyes followed,
all the way to me,
as if to guide you closer.

then everything stopped
as you stood before me.
I had never seen you clearer.
I had never been more in love.

but I realized why you were here.
so for now,
I only looked at you.
I knew what was to come.

I felt the cold
as it held me.
though I couldn’t see it,
I knew it was you.

then you looked up at me,
closed your eyes,
and kissed me.
then, you pulled away,

and as if you knew you always would,
you reached forward,
took hold,
and tore me open,
painlessly.
then you held your hands out,

cradling a beating heart.
you came closer
and put it in place.
then stepped back as I came together.

tears were coming now.
I couldn’t see yours through mine.
but I savored what I saw
because soon the world awoke.

as if the wind began to breathe,
it came to do what it must.
and so, with every breath,
pieces of you followed,
until you were gone.

I shared this moment with time.
through many breaths.
until I breathed out
the last breath of you.

so now, I closed my eyes
and prepared to fall.
I didn’t know where I was going,
but now I knew where I was.

repair tells the experience the writer had on 1/19/2026. It tells the story, in order, step by step, as it occurred. The associated image is the surroundings at the time. The experience is as follows:

I saw her. She came to me in a vivid vision.

When she appeared over the edge of the road, I was excited to see her.

But I knew why she was here. So I knew to savor it and looked ahead at her and let it all happen.

I watched as she came to me. I couldn't tell if she was walking or floating. She stopped a short distance in front of me and stood still for a moment.

She came closer and wrapped her energy all around me. It was cold. I felt as she made the wind move. But her coldness was different. It held me.

Then it stopped.

She looked up at me.

She slowly closed her eyes and kissed my lips. I felt it.

I didn't kiss her. I knew what needed to be done was under her control.

She pulled away, and as she stepped back, she grabbed ahold of the skin on my chest and tore me open. It was painless. But I felt it so intensely. Everything went white. My body stayed open for her, my skin stayed ripped open, in place.

Once I could see, I saw her in front of me again. She had her hands out; she was cradling a beating heart. It was mine. She reached forward to place it where it used to be. And she stepped back to let me come together.

As I was healing, I was crying. But I knew to savor every last moment that she’d be here, so I chose to look beyond the tears in my eyes.

She stood there. Still.

The world awoke. The wind began to blow. And as it did, pieces of her followed in its breath. She faded so slowly.

Then she was gone.

I stayed. I knew I needed to. And through these last breaths, I breathed you out for the last time.

And when I closed my eyes, I felt myself fall. I didn’t know where I was going, but now I knew where I was.

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